Scarlet's Angry Review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Games
by Christopher Spielberg
Summary: Inspired by Angry Joe's Harry Potter Deathly Hallows game reviews, Scarlet once again tells her story to her eleven Star Darlings friends about the two Deathly Hallows games she was playing, her friends listening and commenting about both games in this two-part story. I don't own any characters, rant or any content, only my personal idea. Rated T-M for bad words.
1. Part 1

**A/N: As Halloween comes nearer this year, I was thinking of making a third Angry Joe inspiration, of his review on both the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parts 1 & 2 games. And like my previous Scarlet/Rambo review, Scarlet from Star Darlings once again does the review for this to her friends. Once again, I DO NOT own any of the content, characters or rant, just my fanfiction idea, so nothing harsh or horrible, for hilarity purposes only. This story will also be split into two chapter parts, the first for Part 1, and the second for Part 2. Rated T-M for bad words. Enjoy!**

The night on the day Scarlet had recently played Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parts 1 & 2 games on her XBOX in her star dorm room for a bit, Sage enters the room as Scarlet greeted, "Hi, Sage. You ready for the Harry Potter marathon?"

"Yes, I'm ready, Scarlet. I heard that the Harry Potter movies are all so magical! But I didn't watch them yet.", the lavender starling says.

The magenta-black starling says, "Come on, follow me, Sage.", the two going up the second floor of the dorm room, "Well, what are you gonna do, sit down on the comfy couch, my dear girlfriend Vega will be here soon", her friend nodding as Scarlet then gives the DVD case of the first Harry Potter movie, "Now, let's start with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, in the Wishworld US Earth territory, that is, or it's known in the UK Wishworld territory, the Philosopher's Stone.", excitingly. "I'll just go get some Zing drinks, okay?", she said, going to get the refreshments with the help from MO-J4.

"Okay, hurry up. Happy to hear it.", chuckles Sage, patiently and gladly.

However, as Scarlet had gone to get Zing drinks for her and Sage, the lavender starling's curiosity gets the best of her, as she then opens up the case for the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Sage responded, "Whoa...", a bit uncomfortable, as the discs wasn't for the first movie.

It was the discs for the games Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

"XBOX games?", questioned Sage. "On second thought, I have something to study on tonight.", she then said, getting up from the couch, and went downstairs to the first floor of the dorm room again.

Scarlet had arrived back with the two cups of Zing, and asks, "What are you doing?"

"I have to go to my dorm room. I have to finish my homework.", Sage told her.

The magenta black starling replied, "What? About Harry Potter, Sage, let me explain-"

"I'm sorry, Scarlet, maybe tomorrow. See ya.", the other starling says, as she then exits Scarlet's dorm room kindly.

Dropping the two Zing drink cups as the glass shatters afterwards, Scarlet then sighs, before, thinking about the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parts 1 & 2 games she was about to show her friend in the now-ruined hangout, she deeply breaths in and out angrily, glaring at the readers/audience, who then uses her starling powers to draw a small lightning bolt symbol on her forehead with sparkles, meaning that when she had played both games the other day, she has a lot of hatred toward both games...

* * *

 **Scarlet's Angry Review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 & 2 Games**

 **First off: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1: The Video Game Review**

The next morning, Scarlet arrives at the Lightning Lounge with her eleven friends there again like last time with the Rambo game review of her's, starting off the review, "Welcome back to the world of movie licensed games!"

"Yeah. We heard you talk about that awful Rambo game earlier, babe. What happened this time? Last night the hangout's cancelled so we went out to see a movie instead. Sounded like Sage had to do her homework again. Did mine already, perfectly.", cared and worried Vega.

Scarlet continued, "It's about the Harry Potter series. The best things I can say about these two games, along with the last films that came out some time ago, is that, it got me introduced, to the world of Harry Potter. By now, you all must've heard by how awesome the last movies are, how great the franchise is, on a whole, how it's this the younger generation's version of Star Wars, becoming one of the highest-grossing film franchises of all time, bla, bla, bla, BLA! I however never too addicted to Harry Potter, especially the fact when I heard it first came out because it was to some fans "nerdy and uncool" to like Harry Potter. I just never bothered. But as the movies went on, I caught one viewing on TV about a week ago, and I thought it's pretty interesting. There was intrigued mystery and a bit of powerful magic..."

"That actually sounds magical to me.", responds Sage, as Libby, Leona and the other eight agree with her.

The third-year starling continues, "I got hooked, and I'm so impressed by the final movie that came out earlier and these video games that I received, I had my lovely girlfriend Vega come over and have a Harry Potter marathon, watching all of the movies, and it was a lot of fun. It's interesting to see these characters, and actors for that matter grow along with the movies. The storylines, they get a lot darker and more mature as things go along, because later movies are excellent character-driven films. I recommend the third and last movies myself. Even so, I never really thought that Harry Potter franchise would translate to video games very well. And that's especially the case...", before she pulls out her Starzap and showed her friends a logo of EA (Electronic Arts), and the title Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, while holding the game Deathly Hallows Part 1 as well, "...with Deathly Hallows Part 1. Because honestly not much happens in that movie that's game-worthy, it's just a big build-up to Part 2. But EA pressed on anyway, and took our lovable Hogwarts schoolmates, and turned them into...Call of Duty soldiers with gun wands and a cover mechanic. Deathly Hallows Part 1 is a first person shooter. It follows the movie's storyline very closely through cutscenes, with only slight variations, and many more Death Eaters in between, to make it more "gaming". As a fact, you might get a kick out of this for a while, but that'll soon fade, as the dread of repetitive and shallow gameplay sitting. Your main method of defense against enemies like, spiders, Death Eaters, snatchers, and pixies, are your spells. You lock onto targets, and fire at them with the triggers. It's sad though that the only spell worth a damn in the game, is that when you start off with Stupefy."

"Stupefy? That doesn't sound bad.", Libby and Leona pointed out. "Unless if it's sometimes not useful in some parts of the games."

The magenta-black starling then says, "The only other helpful one is Confringo, which blows up rocks in your path, but the other six spells are worthless! It's just Harry and company screaming over and over again; Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupefy! Hit it, Clover!"

Clover then played a catchy music tune as Scarlet sang the Stupefy spell, which made Vega, Sage and the rest of the eight to laugh hard for a few moments, Scarlet's girlfriend embracing her.

"Harry also seems to be able to level up as you progress, but you would hardly know it unless you hit the start button, and saw a tiny indicator. Apparently, I was at Level 18. But despite the game's insistence, that my spells are now more powerful, it took me the same amount of shots to kill the same enemies, because levelling has little to no effect! Pointless, disingenuous, window dressing to make this game seem deeper than it really is. Speaking of that, this game breaks up the shooting gallery monotomy with these side missions, with the excuse that Ron or Hermione need to, uh, rest or research something.", said Scarlet afterwards.

Astra and Gemma ask, "How many side missions are there? Let us guess, two?"

"Close. And so you'll get this pop-up, with a screen with three different side missions on it. Fight against more of the same enemies that you normally do, sneak around an awkward first person mode, under the invisibility cloak, or rescue a certain amount of muggle-borns! Dirty, filthy, muggle-borns! No offence though.", Scarlet answers and continues.

Piper and Clover then both said, "Wow. That must've been difficult than we thought it would be."

"It's a bad word in the Harry Potter universe, trust me, you girls were shocked, right? But, you have to play through all of them, so there is absolutely no point, in giving you an option, it's forced. It's just annoying level-patting. There are 21 core missions, six of which they are just backtracking the way that you came, and as you grow pissed off with this "chore" of a game, you'll soon realize, that you didn't have to do any of it, you could just run; through the entire game! Without stopping. And once you know that this is impossible to resist the urge to do this, when you're fighting and it's so damn repetitive, and you just run past all the enemies to get it over with! Anyway, you're gonna beat this snooze fest in just 4 hours or less. 4 HOURS. Aside from that, they did include a Kinect challenge mode; which are really just 2 minute long on-rails shooter bits, which have you up to a max of using two spells, one of which has to be- Wait for it, wait for it- Stupefy!", said Scarlet.

Adora and Tessa were surprised, "Seriously? A four hour game and a Kinect challenge with the spell Stupefy? That's insane."

"You don't wanna know how many times me and Vega were saying Stupefy for when we both were hanging out and playing this game with Kinect the other day, girls. Hit it again, Clover.", the third-yea replies, which Clover then played the same catchy tune, causing the girls but Scarlet and Clover to laugh again. "Anyways, Dumbledore would be ashamed of this travesty! To see what has happened in the Harry Potter franchise of these video games."

Cassie worries, "I feel bad about Dumbledore."

"I know. It's enough to break even the world's most powerful wizard. None! NONE of the Harry Potter intrigue, mystery, or thriller elements are in these games, at all. You don't learn anything about the lore, you don't get any cool tip bits of...of backstory, the collectibles are shit, and you won't learn about any new or interesting spells not seen in the films. Nothing! Without any worthwhile content in the game, it's a complete waste of time. Worse than that, it's torture! I rather eat all the nastiest flavour, Harry Potter jelly beans. Like dirt, soap, earthworm, rotten eggs, and worst of all, boogers! I rather eat TEN booger flavoured jelly beans than to play these games, and I LIKE it!", discussed Scarlet.

Libby and Leona said, "We all agree with you, Scarlet!"

"Speaking of Harry Potter jelly beans, we kinda feel a bit hungry for a snack.", Sage and Vega mentions.

The magenta-black starling chuckles, "Of course, I'll be right back to go get some Harry Potter jelly beans for you, girls.", before she then goes, leaving the lounge to get jelly beans for her friends, ending Part 1 of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows game reviews.


	2. Part 2

**Finally: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: The Video Game Review**

Scarlet returns to the Lightning Lounge with a big bowl of Harry Potter jelly beans, which surprises all the twelve Star Darlings.

"Wow! Thanks, Scarlet! We've been waiting for the jelly beans for only five minutes, so not to worry.", Sage said, Scarlet putting the bowl of jelly beans on the table for her and her friends to have some. "Delicious!"

Scarlet nods, "Glad you liked it.", before she held out the game for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, with her Starzap still showing the title of the same name, "Okay, that's enough for Part 1. Now to start off with the conclusion, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.", as she switched the title projection of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, throwing the Part 1 game and holding the game Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

"This must be good. We heard that the second or final parts of movie franchises is better than the first parts sometimes!", Leona and Libby mention.

The third year then said, "As for Deathly Hallows Part 2, well that experienced can be summed up like this; _'You're a wizard, Harry.'_ Then it's the end.", causing Vega and her friends to laugh, her girlfriend embracing her.

"You have a great sense of humor sometimes, Scarlet.", sweetly said Vega.

The magenta-black starling continues and answers Vega, "I do. And I shit you not about this. Immediately after I turned it on, not immediately immediately, but you know, I beat the game. I'm not joking. If we all think the Rambo video game was insulting, well, wait until you all get a load of _this_. Deathly Hallows Part 2, is exactly 2 HOURS and 52 minutes LONG! **2 HOURS AND 52 MINUTES?!** ...For $49.99, ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?! That is only about 20 minutes longer than the actual movie itself! How?! How is this possible?! I bet you girls that if I replayed the game, I could knock off another 50 minutes from that, making it shorter than the movie it's based on! No wonder you're no longer allowed to just run through the missions on this one! They put invisible walls and turn it into escort missions for Ron and Hermione, so she can take 15 minutes to open a FUCKING door!"

"That's a little difficult with that game. Must be criticized for this short gameplay time excuse for Part 2.", commented Cassie and Astra.

Scarlet discussed ragingly about the escort missions for Hermione in the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 game, "SINCE WHEN DID THEY TAKE SO LONG TO OPEN TO CAST THE- OPEN THE LOCK SPELL?! Hermione, **YOU ARE THE WORST WITCH EVER!** GOD! **HURRY UP!** "

"Okay, okay, Scarlet. Calm down. It's just an awful method in gaming, don't get stressed about it.", Vega calms her down.

Scarlet took a deep breath, "...Anyway...Deathly Hallows Part 2, makes more sense than most, for a video game. With the whole Wizard War, and the climatic battle, with Lord...you-know-who."

"Voldemort?", asks Sage and Cassie, guessing.

The third-year snaps her fingers, smiling, "Bingo! Because of that though for Part 2, the wands are even more like guns, than ever before! Individually, these spells are now slightly more useful, so you find yourself spamming Stupef, slightly less though you still do a lot like Part 1. With these new spells, you'll be doing things like, sniping enemies in the distance with Petrificus Totalus? Breaking shields with Expelliarmus? Pulling out a rapid firing machine gun with Expulso? And using homing missiles with Impedimenta! HOMING MISSILES! I don't really need to tell you, this is not at all how the spells work in the books OR the movies. Seriously. Wow."

"Whoa. Pretty much like that Call of Duty game thing you talked about earlier with Part 1.", Piper and Clover said.

The magenta-black starling then reviewed, "And with all the extra time that the developers had to make this game, since it's only three hours MAX, they did decide that it was okay to put a tiny bit more effort into the actual gameplay. They probably actually listen to the feedback that they got from the angry mothers and grandmothers who bought their kids this crap. Well...good for you. That's what you're supposed to do. It's now easier to switch spells, as they are mapped to the buttons, to each double tap required to get to the second spell, the AI actually seems smarter, actually using cover, not standing out in the open like a moron, and now because, magic, now mimics modern ballistic weapons, which is fucking bullshit, the individual spells are slightly more useful. In the way they designed this particular game. Some enemies require that you use a spell to break their shields first, or to knock them off balance, but that's it. You also get to play as other, uh, characters in the Harry Potter universe defending the Hogwarts castle. Like Minerva, uh, Shamus, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, this was kinda cool, until you realize they function EXACTLY the same as each other! There's no varied spells, one doesn't feel more powerful than the other, in fact, Minerva, walks slow as molasses. It's- This is a huge waste of an opportunity."

"Wow. Ups and downs for this game, huh? May be good, may be bad, doesn't matter to us because we love this game!", Sage, Vega, Gemma, Adora and Tessa rated.

Scarlet also includes, "Like I said before, they fix the fact from Part 1 where you can run through the levels here in Part 2. I doubt they did this for good intentioned reasons, but instead to pat out the game, so that it isn't quite so embarrassingly short."

"Let us guess. Escort missions.", Libby and Leona ask.

The third year nods, "Right. What's more is that the pointless, forced side missions, and the terrible Kinect experience, are dropped completely from the game. The right thing to do would've been to improve these. Nope, they just drop it from the game entirely. And it wouldn't been hard, even with the script development time excuse. They make the Kinect sections, limited, to very structured wizard duels, when you duel a wizard, with a blazing lightshow and mechanics to show off the struggle! The final battle should have been Kinect enabled! Take those crap side missions, and give them exploration, or RPG elements and talking to NPCs! Learning more, gathering information and clues! Now that would've been BRILLIANT."

"Yeah. We all agree with you. Kinect was misused before for Part 1, and it would've been better for Part 2!", Piper and Clover smile, the other nine starlings nodding to Scarlet.

The magenta-black starling agrees and then says, "Thank you, girls. Come on, people. Eight games in, and this is how you repay the loyalty of Harry Potter fans. Dropping any notion of innovation within the world of wizardry. Opting instead, for a mix between Call of Duty and Gears of War. Slapping it all together, with escort and defence missions, and then slapping us all on the face by at barely clocking in at 2 hours and 52 minutes?! Who the fuck was this game made for?! Honestly! It's not Harry Potter fans, and it's not the rest of us, it's not Call of Duty fans, it's not Gears of War fans, it's not- for ANY FANS! The most innovation that you get to see in this game, is these cinematic running sections, that'll give you fun for about 15 minutes."

"First, you're right that it's not for anyone. Second, the cinematic running was actually a good point, Unless if it was harder as starf.", rated Astra and Cassie about that part.

Scarlet answered, "Agreed. But, so this being the last game and all, surely you'd expect Mr. Billy-Badass-Wizard-of-the-Badass-Wizarding-World Voldemort, you spent that showdown, with the final battle to be awesome, right? **WRONG!** He is easier than Beatrix! His-his bitch lieutenant! Only this time you face him multiple times, until you get the final wizard face-off. Extremely disappointing! Lame.", arguing about the boss battles with Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 video game.

"We know, right? How is it possible for the final boss being completely easy?", Sage and Vega were appalled by this.

The third-year continues to her conclusion of her review, holding up both Part 1 and Part 2 of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows games, "Both games are huge letdowns, and in otherwise amazing world of magic, spells and WIZARDRY. I don't know about the other games in the series. But I'm willing to bet that they're the same way as these. As for these games, the final verdict for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1: The Video Game, is a **2/10**. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is confusing as hell! At first, I was like ' _Wow, the gameplay has improved a little bit_ ', until I realize, it doesn't even clock in at almost three hours! For a full-priced game, it drops the side missions and the Kinect support, and it substituted escort and defend missions against waves and waves of enemies. Top it off with an extremely disappointing battle with the Dark Lord Voldemort, they could've been so much more, and did I mention, it's only 2 hours and 52 minutes?! As for the final game, for taking several steps forward, and then several steps backward, the final verdict for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: The Video Game, it too ends up at a 2/10! Overall, in a score from 1 to 5, I will give both games in total which ends up at 1/5 for both Part 1 and Part 2 of the Deathly Hallows games!"

"Wow. The movies is better, but the games are worse, isn't it?", Sage, Libby and Leona ask.

The magenta-black starling nodded and agrees, finishing her review, "Indeed definitely. BOTH are terrible games, they're not for Harry Potter fans, and they're not for anyone else! Take everything you know about the films and the book, half ass it, and throw it in a first-person shooter with gun wands! There! Done! Eat it, buy it! You'll buy our games, that's what EA would say! EA has now cashed in for not one, not two shitty movie-licensed Harry Potter games, but over EIGHT! From Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2-part games, and also counting the spinoffs. At $49.99 each, that'll cost you more than $350 to experience this garbage! You'd be having to be under a spell yourself, willing to STUPEFY your face, to buy these games! That money is better spent, probably on buying the ultra-expensive DVD boxset of all the movies that is sure to come. You'll save yourself a ton of cash, and you'll be happier for it. There is nothing to see here. Move along. In fact, these games may need to be forgotten."

"For sure. But we all love the Harry Potter movies better.", Vega and Sage said. "The conclusion movie versions are WAY better, in which we believe.", the two as well as the other nine starlings said to Scarlet.

Scarlet concludes, "Yes. Movies are better than those games in this series. Thank us later. Well, that was my review for the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 & 2 games. I hope to keep you girls in touch for my next review.", giving thumbs up as their friends applauded, while Vega kissed Scarlet due to this, the latter giving a wink.

 **THE END**


End file.
